I want YOU.. to spy for the Government

Isn't it fucking fun? The LKGOV wants us to report all foreigners who are criticising the LKGOV and the Glorious Forces (sounds like a band from the 70s). The Ministry of Immigration & Emmigration even has a phone number for people to use as a hotline. And the media (radio stations especially) are shouting it out at the top of their lungs. In fact, they are asking you to report anyone, no matter what the skin colour.

This pisses me off mightily. The LKGOV is so scared of criticism and people showing what fuckups are happening that they want to have people spying on each other. Kind of like The Spies Among Us. Very KGB and Hitlerian.

Of course, some of you may approve of it. I won't tell you not to. After all, it's a free country (as long as you don't criticise The Beast, or the LKGOV, or The Glorious Victorious Humanitarian Forces, or Mad Merv, or pretty much anyone in power). The LKGOV loves people like you.

But anyway, if this pissses you off as much as it does me, read on.

I'm not going to go on about how fucked up and screwed up all this is. You all know it is. Lets talk about how this is unimplementable.

Point the first, hearsay is not applicable in a court of law. There are exceptions of course, but that is the gist of it. Point the second, how are you going to report someone? Call them up and say Yes, I was in a bus and heard these people criticising the Glorious Peacekeeping Government. No, I don't know who they are, but they must be somewhere in Colombo. Point the third, how are they going to make sure if it happened? Or do they just deport people on your say-so? Nice way to get rid of any honkies you don't like. A white guy takes your seat at the bar? Call the hotline. Cool huh?

So there it is, a wonderful PR stunt, that is unimplementable.

Now... Wanna have some fun?

This is so open to having fun and abusing it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Let's take the procedure a step at a time shall we?

Step 1:

Do not use your phone! They may have caller ID, and that doesn't make it fun. Use a phone booth. Don't use a Communication Center, why get some innocent fucker in trouble?

Step 2:

Call the number they gave - 0115329380

Step 3:

Tell them you heard someone criticisng the Glorious Wonderful Loving Kind Government Of Free Sri Lanka, who promise to give us candy, and cheap food, and even a pony once the people are saved from the Evil Child-Raping Mother-Molesting Henious LTTE Terrorists.

Step 4:

When they ask you who, where, and what they said, try the following.

Ranil Wickramasinghe, in Parliament, criticised the LKGOV for not carrying out the war properly and to the utmost
Hillary Clinton, David Miliband, and Bernard Kouchner, in multiple statements, accused the LKGOV of "failure to protect civilians."
Gordon Weiss, in a report to AFP, accused the LKGOV of shelling the CFZ and killing 100 children (which we all know can't happen because the LKGOV doesn't use any heavy weapons there).
M. Karunanidhi, in many interviews, criticised the Glorious LKGOV

If you're feeling particularly nasty, tell them your mom, last night, just after I fucked her.

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