Did the Jeppo get something right?

Now I am not a JVP fan. In fact, it would be fair to say that I am far from being a fan. That I am a Jeppo-hater. That I am so far beyond being a hater, that if hating them was a star, it would take many tens, nay hundreds of millions of years for the light from the-star-known-as-I-hate-the-fucking-Jeppo to get to me. And when it finally does, many millennia after the star goes nova, the light will be so faint that I would need an array of Hubble-type space telescopes to see the light.

But once in a while, even the millions of monkeys that make up the Jeppo manage to open their mouths and say something that is not a steaming pile of feces.

Recently they called for a new investigation of Jeyaraj Fernandopulle's assassination.

More feces right? After all, everyone knows that Jeyaraj was killed by the evil, terrible, man-eating, child-killing, woman-raping, blood-thirsty, friendly, neighbourhood revolutionary freedom-fighters known as the LTTE right? The same ones I thanked in a blog post a few months back right?

What if we were wrong?

Let's consider what the Jeppo are saying. Most of their reasons for wanting a better investigation are based on two items. One, the woman who was picked up by the cops for providing support for the entire mission, died in the hands of the police.

Of course this is almost .. normal for our cops. It's not their fault of course. I'm sure people just .. die during questioning all the time. Our fine, upstanding, diligent police force have absolutely nothing to do with those deaths. And LTTE-ers usually do kill themselves when they are captured. Many of them, like the woman in question, with the ever present cyanide suicide capsule. But most of them tend to do it early, immediately after capture, probably to beat the rush. They don't wait two weeks in custody and then decide to check out.

Two, two of the MSD types who were with Jeyaraj that day, were run over by a lorry a few days later. Both died.

As Ian Fleming wrote in Goldfinger: Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. And if we want to find out who probably dunnit, we have to ask why?

Let's face it Jeyaraj was a crook. He was so bent that he could walk through a corkscrew sideways. The man skimmed off so much money from the various projects that he did, that it stopped being funny about a few billion rupees ago. But I don't think anyone in the government, especially The Beast, understood just how much was being stolen until the overpass deal went through. Does 10% sound like a reasonable kickback to you? Do you think it was more? Or less? 10% of 2.1 billion is 210 million. That's 210,000,000. That's twenty-one followed by seven fucking zeroes. Not too shabby eh?

And that was just the one deal.

So what do you think will happen when The Beast finds out that there's so much money just dribbling into dear old Jeyaraj's satin-lined pockets? It's not like he can fire the fucker. Jay-boy knows where too many skeletons are buried. And any attempt on him would mean those skellies come dancing out like it was a remake of the Thriller video.

So he goes in Mahamulana style. Jay-boy gets bumped off, and T. B. Ekanayake - effective and useful a politician as D. B. (Doing Bloody Well) Wijethunge - gets landed with the post. And then gets told that he can handle all the highway projects. Well, at least all of them upto a value of 40 million rupees. So if you want a small lane done, or maybe a culvert, TB's your man. For anything else, he's as effectual as jacking off a dead dog in the hopes that it will ejaculate Glenlivet Whiskey.

And the other projects? The other 250 two-point-one-billion rupee flyovers? Who's gonna handle them? Who else but Basil. So there's that golden goose safely in the pockets of Rajapaksa Brothers, Very Private, Extremely Unlimited.

Good story eh? A fine tale of murder and villainy to be shared with your mates over a beer, or an arrack, maybe a whiskey, or in this economy, kasippu. A tale that is as good as any that Chris Carter wrote for The X-Files. Paranoia and conspiracy theories galore.

But then again. What if I'm right?