Drinking and driving...

On Wednesday night (the 30th May) YT got copped for driving while intoxicated. I'd only had the three beers, and that was almost 2 hours previously, followed by many coffees etc etc. I was arrested, made to blow into the funny bag, spent the night in jail, and finally just got out of courts this morning.

I'm not here to argue about whether I was in the wrong or not. I'm here to give you folks some advice, so that you can learn what I too learned. But first ..

DISCLAIMER!!

I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. Driving while intoxicated is illegal in Sri Lanka. Most of what is suggested here is illegal. I am not responsible for you and your actions. If you decide to act on what I say, your responsibility is your own, totally. If you want legal advice, get a lawyer.

I was at Inn on the Green on Wednesday night, having a few beers with my friends. We hung out there until about 2330, and then headed to the Coffee Stop at the Cinnamon Grand for caffeination. At about 0100, we decide to head on out

Mistakes so far: If you drink, don't risk it, take a cab home. If you don't want to do that, hang out at a hotel or somewhere for at least 2-3 hours. At the very least, stay at the pub/club until after 0400 (keep drinking if you want) because at 0400 the breathalyser shift goes off duty.

So I head on down, doing about 60. It's night and there's no one on the road.

Mistake: if you're drunk, don't draw attention to yourself. Drive moderately, if possible with another vehicle

At the Vilasitha Nivasa junc, i get pulled over by the cops. This is not good. we speak for a while and they decide that I am drunk, and I should go to the polics station with them.

Let's face it, at this point you're pretty much fucked. The options now are how you're going to get out of this. You have a few choices here, none of them pretty. 1. Run for it! Turn off your lights, put your foot down and do your best Fast and the Furious impression. Hope they don't get your licence tag, and that you can get to a hiding place before they, or some other cops catch up with you. 2. Bribe them. Always a good way in Sri Lanka. If you don't know how to bribe them, ask a three-wheel guy to give you lessons (do this before you get copped). If you don't have enough cash, and they're amenable to a bribe, let them hold on to your licence until you can get back with the cash. 3. Give up. Figure you can't win them all and give it up. A system that I have seen works is to NOT give them your driver's licence. Figure you're going to lose the case, and don't give them your licence. Tell them that you dropped it in the bar, or something.

So off we go to Kirulapone cop station where they ask me to blow into the funny balloon. This one has a hole in it and i have to blow thrice into it before it would inflate properly. Now obviously this is an error in evidence gathering. You're only supposed to blow into it once. But they insist and I do.

What to do: You can refuse to blow into the balloon. Legally you can do this. But this is a good way to get abused and/or attacked. While you're waiting for them to prep you, try another bribe attempt, also call up any influential friends you may have. Once they crack that ampoule, you're dead meat. You will HAVE to go to courts. Because of the fucked up way our government operates, the cost of a test is takes out of the guy's salary, unless you go to courts. I don't think that's fair, but there it is. Theoretically, you're supposed to blow into it only once. But if they want to force you to blow into it more than that, don't force the issue.

That being done, I was put in the lockup for the night. Which was ok. I've spent the night in worse places, and so I spend the night chatting to a guy from Kirulapone who offered to get me any and all drugs that I might need. You meet the most interesting people in jail.

At this point all I have to tell you is, don't panic. They may let you out with your friends, or they may be dicks about it and throw you in jail, its hard to say what way they'll turn. The cell isn't too bad, and unless they have overcrowding issues, and/or you've been a complete dick about the matter, they'll put you in your own cell or with someone who is harmless

In the morning, Ruwan malli (poor bugger) comes to bail me out, and head on to the Center.

Mistake: This is the time for making statements, because they may say that any statement you make earlier was obviously made while you were drunk. You were brought in because you were drunk, therefore you had to have been drunk. It doesn't matter what the facts are. Make the statement that you were brought in and were told to blow multiple times into the balloon. If you told them you lost your licence, make a separate statement to that effect too.

Now comes the time for decision making. To decide what to do about the case. For advice I turn to an old family friend who happens to be a District Court judge. The main thing I ask is, "Can I fight it? Is it worth it?" The answers are difficult, but edifying. Can I fight it? Yes I can (Boooob the lawyer.. ). Is it worth it? Probably not. Apparently, there is no statement of policy or whatever that says that you have to blow only a certain amount. And judges tend to accept the word of the cops over you. If you decide to fight it, the case will be postponed at least a few times, and you'll be out of pocket far more than the cost of the fine was, and more than a few days of your life. On the other hand, I DID hear of a person who successfully fought the case on the "made me blow more than once" issue, and got the case thrown out. Your mileage may vary.

Options: a. Fight it. Get a good lawyer and go on the offensive. b. Give in. Show up, pay the fine, consider it a payment for all the other times you drove shitfaced and didn't get caught. c. Bribe your way out. Apparently, there are touts and other various brokers who can, for a fee, intercede with the court sargeant on your behalf. The evidence and the court file can be made to, shall we say, not be there, and the police themselves will be handled as well so that the case won't show up. It seems this became a viable business model mainly after the DUI testing came into play.

So today (Monday), I find myself in jail, waiting for things to get sorted out. Go in stand in the courtroom, stand in the dock, show my stuff, get fined and a suspended licence for a month. Fair enough. But the guys who claimed to not have the licence or had "lost" their licence, were given the same fine, but no suspension. Interesting.

The aftermath: So now I don't have a licence for 30 days. I still have options. There are offers to a. get the licence boosted from the copshed and into my hand. b. get me a set of temporary licences from the copshed. c. get a temp licence from the RMV.

Now please note, many of these options are illegal, but it makes me realise something very interesting. The dotelkay police system is very very flawed. Evidence collection procedures are completely fucked sideways. The evidence itself is tainted. The judicial system is so flawed that people are willing to pay the fine to just get out of the system, and not fight. If you do decide to fight, they will come down on you hard and make sure that you will not fight again, or make it so inconvenient for you that you'll have second thoughts about it next time. Which has obviously led to the, bypass methods I have stated above. I think most people, if they felt the judgement was fair, would take it on the chin and move on. But what happens when they feel hard done by the legal system? It is at that point that even people who generally follow the law will decide that the law wasn't meant for them.

So there it is, lessons learned from the DWI experience. So what lessons are they? Simple, if you're gonna drink, take a cab, or have a bribe handy. Its easier and more efficient to pay the cop on the street rather than let it escalate.

And by the way. GNTC cabs: 011-2688688, 50LKR a km/150LKR minimum. And there is another cab co, I don't know the name: 011-2818818 48LKR a km/100LKR minimum. Just remember those two numbers. Good luck.